Sex Text Book Excerpt 1960's UK

(Sorry this is late, but at least you'll get two this week!)

Recently a friend put this on my facebook wall. After reading it, I was mortified at the lessons taught to young girls. I find this article problematic in too many ways to count, but below is a list of a few of the things I found problematic with the excerpt.

1. 1. First is the notion that one must be (fakely) beautiful:

The article, simply by addressing the idea of “face-cream or hair-rollers” suggests that these are practices that women do and partake in (just not before the man falls asleep). Also less subtle language such as “But remember to look your best when going to bed,” shows that women must try to be beautiful for their husbands, while men do not need to do this. Not only does this reinforce unrealistic standards of beauty, but it also creates a double standard in which a woman has to look beautiful for her husband, but he does not have to for her.

2. 2. Also, it suggests that women should exist only to please their husbands:

She should be beautiful for her husband; she should not go to the bathroom right before bed because her husband will want to; she should wake up before her husband to make him a cup of tea; she should please her husband sexually; she should obey her husband. All of this suggests that the wife, the woman, is simply there. She is an object for her husband.

3. 3. It argues that women are less important than men:

The article states that “If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it,” suggesting that his wishes are much more important than hers are. However, if this line was a little subtle, the article blares this message in the reader’s face later by saying “a man’s satisfaction is more important than a woman’s.” Not only is his satisfaction more important, but so too is his well being. The article allows for a man to sleep more than the woman, who has to wake up earlier than her man to make him tea and go to sleep later than him so that he won’t see her hair-rollers and face-cream. A woman, according to this excerpt, should get less sleep than her man should.

4. 4. It completely disregards the possibility of women’s pleasure, at all:

As somewhat previously mentioned, the article, although in a “sex education school textbook” completely disregards the woman’s ability for pleasure. Not only should she “not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy,” but she should also put his pleasure above her own. The article states, “When he reaches his moment of fulfillment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had.” This suggests that the woman does not have a moment o fulfillment. It also suggests the idea of acting. It tells her exactly how she should act (letting out a small moan). Now if the husband does “suggest any of the more unusual practices [the woman should] be obedient and uncomplaining.” Thus she should do anything sexually her husband asks, but she cannot ask for anything sexually. This leads me to my next point:

5. 5. In addition to that, it also leaves room for husbands to abuse and rape their wives:

The article leaves a lot of open room for husbands to rape and abuse their wives. If he wants to do any “unusual practices,” she should go along with it. Even if she does not want to have sex, she should “obey.” I feel like this leaves a lot of open room for a husband to be sexually abusive to his wife, since she should not complain, but simply be quiet.

After reading this article, I'm left with just a couple of feelings. Pure anger at how idiotic this was. Pure happiness that, although there are still gendered messages being embedded in young minds, they are not quite as bad as they were.