Schools: The Gender Police

Today is personal story day.

Story:

In middle school I had a friend named Matt. Matt was a nice kid, kind of annoying at times to the teachers. Many thought he had the outward signs of being gay. I always argued with them about this because I didn't believe that being feminine is equivalent to being gay. (I still don't, but he did later come out.) One day, Matt wore hair clips to school. He liked his hair clips, and, to be honest, they weren't hurting anyone. The principal, however, apparently disagreed. Upon seeing the hair clips, he immediately demanded that Matt take them out. Matt refused on grounds that it wasn't breaking any school rules. The principal said that it was breaking the rule that also stated that hats could not be worn (yet he did not do anything to the girls with hair clips). This was clearly a blatant case of policing gender. In fact, it bothered the principal to the extent that he actually ripped the hair clips out of Matt's hair.

End story.

A few months back, a friend had posted a news article on her facebook wall. In the news article, the school had placed a new rule that boys could not have long hair because it was distracting and evocative of a rock star (or something along those lines). A preschooler, however, who had long hair was actually suspended from preschool because his hair violated the new rule. Again, I find this to be a form of policing gender. It also made me think of my two boy cousins who have longer hair.

Why is it that schools have such authority in gendering our children? I understand if they are wearing offensive shirts or something completely inappropriate. But why do they get to decide how long a child's hair should be? I think schools are wonderful places for children to socialize and learn, but I don't like that schools hinder the children's forms of expression. I also don't like that they have so much authority over a child's life.

From my feminist perspective, I think that these ways of making children fit into specific gender categories and policing their ways of dressing, acting, etc. is a harmful process. We are constantly telling children that they should be comfortable with who they are, that they should have good self-esteem, and be confident. Yet while we are telling them these messages, our actions belie our words. We tell them that they should be comfortable with who they are, yet we are constantly trying to change them so that they will fit into these different categories. In my opinion, we need to stop confusing these children and we need to stop stifling their self-expression.

But these are just my thoughts; what are yours?