Night Fears & Take Back the Night

I know I tend to talk about a lot of heavier subjects...well, this one is no different. What follows is a personal narrative about the fears of rape. By the way, nothing happened to me in the following story. I just want to establish that so that no one expects something bad to come.

There is something haunting in the light of the moon; it has all the dispassionateness of a disembodied soul, and something of its inconceivable mystery. ~Joseph Conrad (I don't know. I just wanted a creepy/eerie quote about night to open this story.)

Thursday night my roommate was out of town. This meant that I had to go to work (5-10 p.m.) and come home to my creepy apartment building alone without the comfort of knowing that someone would know if I didn't make it home. I consider myself to be way too paranoid to begin with, but a missing roommate definitely ups the ante for me. So, I decided I should leave work a little bit early just in case. Really it was more for my own peace of mind; I don't really think anything would happen to me. I talked to my boss about leaving early, and she was completely fine with it.

Not only was she completely fine with it, though, she encouraged it. She explained to me that you never know what's going to happen and that they take you by surprise; that's their M.O. My boss, then preceded to pull out her "cat's eye" keychain. I later looked it up online, it is commonly referred to as a black cat, I believe. The keychain is shaped like a cat's face, and it has two points which are supposedly perfectly aligned so that it would stab out the eyes of an attacker. Then she made sure that I knew how to hold my keys between my fingers. She also told me that the other night manager refuses to leave at 12:30 a.m., which is when she is supposed to leave, because no one is around to leave with her. Instead, she always leaves with her team members who leave an hour earlier than her.

I found the above to be a little bit over-the-top at first. Even when I said "I know I'm just being paranoid," my boss replied "That's good. You have to be." After at first finding the conversation a little bit ridiculous, I found it extremely saddening. I always thought I was overly paranoid, apparently I am not alone. The fact that so many powerful women can feel so helpless, especially when the sun goes down and the moon comes up, is a very saddening reflection of our society.

I bring up this story because of the event Take Back the Night. Take Back the Night is just about this phenomenon; it is a way of taking back the night and empowering women. People band together and march through the night with candles. There are other events as well. It is about banding together to defeat sexual violence and to defeat the silence in which it is shrouded. I strongly encourage any woman who has felt unsafe and helpless at night to participate in a Take Back the Night event. It can be a powerful message. Many Take Back the Night or Reclaiming the Night events are happening this month, so be on the look out for them.

"Twilight drops her curtain down, and pins it with a star." ~Lucy Maud Montgomery